doubled up tonight | squirrellord's Blog

so I didnt make the early morning meeting, and i was so busy at work, that i couldnt make the lunch meeting, so i made the one at 5:30 after work.  it was a small meeting, but good.  one of the guys there had said that was his third of the day, and that he was going to another one after that.  it sounded like a good idea, so i went with him to another one right after that one.  he is currently in a homeless shelter, but hes a young guy, so on the way i treated him to a slice of pizza and we chatted.  as selfish as it sounds, im glad my bottom didnt take me there this time.  last time I was virtually homeless, and on welfare, and had to go to rehab for over a year, so at least I cought myself early enough this time, so i stilll have a nice apartment, and still have a job, and things are not so horrible.  my own mind makes it out to be worse then it is.  i might be late on my bills this month, but at least i know they will get paid soon enough.

(**funny side note, he just called me while i was typing this, and told me that writing in a jounal might be good for me.  haha )

ok, so where was I :)  after the second meeting a guy came up to me, and we chatted a lot.  we have similar stories, and he invited me out to eat with a bunch of people from the meeting.  that made me feel good.  i turned down the offer at it was already 8:30 and i was tired and needed to come home and relax and take out the trash.  regardless, people see I am trying to do the right thing.  another guy I approcahed said he had seen me around the lunchtime meetings and asked me to go to tomorrows lunchtime meeting.  i said i would be there, and he told me to come early so he could introduce me to the good people there.  i was appreciative and accepted the offer.  he has a lot of time clean and seems like a good person to be around.

i spoke to my sponsor earlier about the passage he told me to read.  the main message was that as a addict, we have an allergy to alcohol and drugs, and then when we do then, a craving and obsessiveness comes over us that people who dont have alcoholism and addiction issues do not get.  its very true.  drugs are like pringles to me, once i pop, i cant stop. we got into a good conversation but unfortunately i had to cut it short to attend the 5:30 meeting i went to.  he told me to sart reading chapter one of the big book, and I will in the morning.  i think every morning, i will start my day reading for 10 or 15 minutes.  my A.D.D kicks in big when I read now, and i struggle a bit, so i have to re-read a lot, but thats okay.  he offered to pick me up and take me to a meeting tomorrow night in northern liberties, which isnt too far by car, but I have to honor my commitment I made to my WoW guild on Tues-Thurs nights.  I will make daytime meetings those days, but I have abandoned them on the "optional" nights due to my recovery, so I feel i should honor this commitment.  if my urge to use is overwhelming, i will put that as my #1 priority, and skip a raid night, but i hope that is not the case.

anyway, gonna relax and call it a night.  i got some poweraid and chocolate to last me the night.

mom just called and said my dad just got out of surgery and that it went well.  thank god.  hes in recovery now and probably can go home tomorrow night. amazing how far the medical world has come.  lets just hope he sticks to the 4oz. of food and doesnt cheat.

good night everyone.

--squirrel