i made the right decision | squirrellord's Blog

thinking about my dealer earlier got me thinking about him all day.. and the cravings started getting out of control.  no game, nor anything, is more important to me then staying clean and sober now, so i went to the 8 oclock meeting and blew off the member night raid in WoW.

it was a great meeting, a new one for me, but it was more like the meetings i was used to.  speaker for 30 minutes, then sharing.  i shared when it opened up, and basically said i was having cravings, and that I knew i needed to work the program harder then i ever had before, and asked for phone numbers and a sponsor.  a few people came up to me after the meeting with their numbers, and one guy offered to sponsor me.  it felt great people were willing to help me out.  i bought a copy of the AA "Big Book" and my sponsor told me to read the "Doctors Opinion" and call him tomorrow to discuss it.  i talked with a bunch of people outside after the meeting and they were great, and offered me great advice.  i tried to start reading the book, but i am just too tired to read, even though its only a few pages.  my A.D.D is showing itself too, but the only thing that really helps me with that is adderral, and thats a nono in the program, so I am going to have to learn to cope.

im going to try to make a 7:15 meeting tomorrow. man i havent even woken up before 7:15 in months so its gonna be hard, no promises, well just have to see. 

i just got off the phone with my dad.  hes going in for surgery tomorrow for his stomache band he got.  his addiction is food, hes really heavy and got one of those stomache bands to help him lose weight a while ago. well he did good for a while, lost a bunch of weight, and then started cheating and eating more, so much so that he has to go back and get it re- put on.  sound familiar?  sounds like we are both getting new starts on our addiction.  amazing that addiction to food can kill you as much as addiction to drugs or alcohol.  i love him, and hope he recovers okay.  he wants me to go home next weekend.  thank god ill have some money to go home. 

anyway, off to bed.  I hope tomorrow is a good day, i got some issues at work to resolve that are not going to be easy.  grant me the serenity

--squirrel